I think that I found myself a cheerleader

I planned to write this yesterday, but the day got busy and it just didn't happen, so a day late, it's still fine!

You can't homeschool without support.  At least not well.  You need friends and family who support the choice and help you when you need it.  For us, we've not had anybody who has been outright negative about it, although we do have some people who I'm pretty sure are taking the "if you don't have something nice to say" track and just not commenting about it.

RF is passively supportive, like he is about a lot of stuff.  Mostly, unless he has a really good reason not to, he pretty much tells me to do whatever I want.  The only point he raised with regards to homeschooling was, if I was going to do it, I needed to commit 100% and be home full time, instead of trying to work during the middle of the day and school around that.

Our friends are cool with it and a few have even decided that they might consider homeschooling soon as well.  Plus, we've joined several homeschooling groups, mostly just get togethers but no actual co-ops, since those kind of stress me out.  We can do games and playdates and park days, but I like to be in charge of the academics and not outsource that.

Back row: Non, Pops, RF, Me, GJ

Front row: WF, DF, MF

ready to zipline!

Out of everyone, though, my parents have been our biggest supporters.  For years, we shared a duplex with them, where they had half and we had the other half.  MF was born in that house and lived there until she was 5.  She had no idea what it was like to not see Non before she got dressed for the day.  Our first year of living in this house was rough on her, because of that separation.  To help offset that, the kids spend nearly every weekend with my parents.  Sometimes, it is the whole weekend, sometimes, just parts.  My mom will often drop by during the week, just to hang out as well.  The kids are almost as comfortable over there as they are here.  Because of the amount of time they spend together, my parents were as aware as we were that things weren't going well.

Pops and the kids ice skating

When I told them that I was seriously thinking about pulling the kids out of public school, they were all in.  Somedays, I think they are more into it than I am! LOL  My mom even offered to cover outside classes and any curriculum we needed, since I was going to be quitting my job.  I could (and did most of last year) pull together free resources from the internet and we would have been successful at this.  The purchased curriculums have been worth it and would have been outside our budget without their help.

They are always interested in hearing about how the kids are doing. They take them places and go on field trips with us.  They take the kids most every weekend so we aren't together 24/7 and killing each other because of it!

Non and MF, at her play, where she was a boxer.

Every homeschool family needs people that support them.  We've been very fortunate that our family is so supportive and being our biggest cheerleaders.  They are completely and unwaveringly convinced that this is the right course and it is a good thing, because sometimes I'm not.  Even when I'm pretty sure this is right, sometimes the doubts can creep in.

The adults at a friend's superbowl party last year

Who is your homeschool cheerleader?

What a waste - depressing

Earlier this weekend, my cousin was killed in a car wreck. From what I know, he was alone in the car and it was single vehicle. I know that he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Of course, my information is coming 5th hand so I don't have any details about what happened, specifically. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if alcohol was involved. He recently joined Facebook and all of his posts were about how much his life sucked and how nothing ever went right and how whiskey was his only friend, etc. His birthday would have been Tuesday and he would have been 29. I would not be surprised if he was either out celebrating his birthday early or drowning his sorrows.

He is 9 months younger than me and when we were kids, he was my closest cousin. There were 3 of us on that side of the family that were about the same age and I never really got along with the other one so it was he and I. We spent a lot of time with that side of the family growing up so i saw him several times a year, although not so much recently. He caught the garter at my wedding and the next summer married a different girl. Not surprisingly, they were going through a divorce, which is part of his depression. His dad also died about 3 years ago just before Christmas, so he was really having a bad time of it. I simply can't imagine what his mom is going through right now. Losing her husband days before Christmas 3 years ago and now her son. A parent's worst nightmare.

He has two kids who are the same age as my kids. We've not spent nearly as much time with them since we have been adults, but our kids do see each other at weddings and other family parties.

The males in my family are genetically cursed and they rarely live to see 60, however, this is something different. This is the first person MY AGE that I have lost. The others, while sad and certainly before their time, didn't bother me as much. And so far I'm not as sad as I think I should be about this. Maybe because we didn't see each other very often, it is sort of unreal to me that this happened. Occasionally, it will hit me and I'll think about it and I'll be sad, but then it kind of goes away. Mostly I'm sad for his boys. He was really into them and a pretty good dad for everything that was going on in his life. I just feel like I SHOULD be more sad about it.

The thing I'm really struggling with right now is that I DON'T want to go to the funeral. I actually probably won't go to the funeral because it is during the day and I don't feel comfortable taking time off work for it since I'm still really new there. I just know that it will make it real. I don't want to see his mom and his boys doing the receiving line by the coffin. I feel really guilty about this because I've gone to all the other visitations in my family. I feel like this one is one that I should be going to since he was my age and I did know him well. I'm sure I will go but mostly out of guilt that I don't want to :(

RIP Kevin, I will be thinking of your family and I hope that you are happier where you are now

Happy New Year (unless you have kids)

Can someone please explain to me why there is not a single group or organization anywhere in this town (or any closer than frikkin' Springfield) that does any kind of family friendly New Year's Eve night event? We have a playgroup thing in the afternoon and I've seen that other places as well (a Noon Year's Eve celebration) which is great for younger kids and my kids will have a good time at but I want something to do in the evening with the kids. In years past, we've gone to Tuscola to their New Year's Eve dance that ran from 7-12. This was perfect for us because we could go for a couple of hours and still have the kids home at a reasonable hour. Apparently, they have cancelled it (it didn't happen last year and it isn't on the calendar for this year), which sucks! I simply can't believe that we don't have a First Night celebration or that the park districts don't do something. You can't tell me that I'm the only parent in the whole town that wants to celebrate New Years Eve with my kids.

If I had unlimited money, I would rent a space, hire a DJ, bring in food and throw a family friendly New Year's Eve bash. I can only imagine there must be interest and the only reason that Tuscola faded is because it is too small of a town to support that and it is too far from CU to be worth the drive (especially on New Year's when the likely hood of drunks and bad weather goes up).

SAHM I am

I was reading Mommy Track'd which is mostly for working moms but there is plenty of stuff that is just funny and entertaining for me. On it, they have a section about worst mom moments. In it I found the following:

"An evening board meeting was just getting started when my cell phone rang, seeing it was my husband, I silenced it and turned the phone off. I was pissed he called at 6:05, knowing the meeting started at 6. He had to leave a message to tell me my 3 month old first-born son had fallen off the couch onto his head, which I didn't pick up until 2 hours later. (ps. In the end my son was fine.)"

First let me comment that most of the posts where so poorly written, they were barely in English so I didn't find much of anything I could identify with but this one just boggled my mind.

I suppose my reaction to this is part of the reason I'm no longer in the work force. Everyone talks about balance but I never got that. My kids were more important than anything and they came first, period. If my husband was with the kids and he called, I would have either taken the call, thus being able to be there for the trip to the hospital or I would have checked my voicemail as soon as it was left, thus beng there for the hospital trip. Either way, work would have had to wait, the building wouldn't fall down because I left.

I've always felt that way about work/family issues. And I've always pondered whether that stemmed from having a "job" versus having a "career". When I worked full time, I was a receptionist. Not a real long term job that I intended to advance in so I had no real incentive to please people.

Things I'm thankful for:

My kids
My husband
My friends
My family
The alternative hours supper club (we need a better name. I'm open to suggestions LOL)
My house
The ability to stay home with my kids

Food Fight

Last week, I posted about Thanksgiving with the ILs. I've been kind of a coward about calling MIL and telling her that we weren't coming because I know how much she hates that the other DIL does that crap all the time. RF assures me that I'm the fave DIL, no matter and I contend that it like the choice between a bologna sandwich and getting punched in the teeth. Neither is a good choice but one is the obvious winner. LOL

Anyway, MIL and my mom were supposed to get the kids a joint gift for Xmas but my mom decided not to do it so she called MIL and during the call, spilled the beans. No biggie, I needed to call her anyway. So she called me today to see about it and I told her that I intend to come out and see everyone at 11 and then leave at noon to come back home for my family's dinner. MIL thought that was FAB idea! She was excited that I would give them some time, even if we didn't stay for food. She told me "I told your dad (she meant FIL but she does that all the time) last night that you had a good head on your shoulders and you would come up with something that would work for everybody. Not like *other DIL* who says that no one owns Thanksgiving and won't bother to grace us with her presence" LOL

So basically problem solved. Now, I just have to come up with acceptable gift ideas for them to get the kids for Xmas since the group gift is a no go. Sort of off topic, anyone know what a good size trampoline would be for 2 kids to use together? (the group gift was a trampoline) We looked at a 12 foot one but I think it looks kind of small for both kids at the same time.

Not so thankful

So Thanksgiving is coming up. Not a huge stressful holiday for us like it is for many people. We don't hate our families, we don't have to travel far, etc. However, we are having a little issue this year. Typically, RF's grandma hosts lunch at noon. She has done this every year for the past 30 and every one is expected to be there. My family doesn't always do something for Thanksgiving. Usually every other year or so. In the past, we have vacationed on the holiday (we went to Grand Bear a couple of years ago to the indoor water park and had a blast) or just done a dinner either at the house or at a resturant, when we aren't feeling like cooking. Well this year is the year for my family to have something and my mom has decided to have it at 12:30.

My issue with Thanksgiving at RF's grandma's is first up, I don't get along with either of his uncle (and only barely with the aunts). One uncle and I got into about the pending smoking ban a few years ago and he hasn't spoken to me since. Basically, he thought that he could get me to back off by being a smart ass but any one that knows me, knows that isn't going to fly. So he and his wife don't speak to me. Super fun family gatherings, that. The other uncle is religious fanatic who will pin people down and preach at them if he can catch them. He also likes to talk, loudly, about many things he has no idea about and then he busts out the scripture when someone dares disagree with him. So I don't do well when I have to interact with him. I do my best to ignore him but every so often, he will get right in my face. The other issue, which is much more important to me than the personality problems of his family (MIL FIL and GMIL are great, it is just the extendeds that bother me) is that they have weird food. Besides turkey, there is very little that either I or the kids will eat. Last year, MT had pie and chocolate candy for Thanksgiving dinner because there was NOTHING else there she would even look twice at. TB does slightly better because he will eat meat, so he will eat turkey with his pie and candy. :(

On the other hand, my family makes stuff that we will all eat. We have noodles and mashed potatoes and dressing (not stuffing, sage dressing) as well as turkey and roast beef, some other side dishes and dessert. Plenty of stuff for the kids (ane me, who eats like a kid LOL) and if that isn't enough, if they simply refuse to eat the dinner, there is kid friendly food handy and I could just nuke them some easy mac.

So now RF is irritated that I don't want to go to his family dinner. I suggested that we go out at 11, see his family for a bit, leave at noon and be back here for our dinner by 12:30. He didn't seem to think that was a feasible idea but the other option is that the kids and I will pass completely. So we will see how things shake out on Thanksgiving :)

In the button pushing factory

Isn't it amazing how, no matter our age, our parents can still manage to push our buttons?

Many of you know that our house is a duplex that we share with my parents. It is a 2 story and they have the top half and we have the basement. Because of this situation, we have outrageously cheap rent, which was huge factor in allowing me to stay home after I lost my job.

Last night, we were hanging out upstairs. TB was looking for something in the toy room and MT was running a doctor's office in the bedroom with all her stuffed animals. I went into the bedroom and was told "you can't be in the doctor's room so get out" TB just wanted to whine about his inability to find a yo yo so I sat in the dining room and started reading my book. My dad came through and heaved a heavy sigh followed by muttering to the tune of "you do nothing but sit around and read, lazy" I hollered after him "I'm sorry if you don't like it, but no one asked for your input" At which point he decided that right then was the time to air all his issues with me (we haven't gotten along, except for a short period after TB was born, since I was about 10. His biggest issue, apparently, is that I dare not work while I stay home with the kids. The arguement went something "why don't you get a job so you can buy a house and take care of your fucking kids" (yes, this was said in front of said kids) Of all the responses that went through my head (and trust some of them were GOOD, if crazy sarcastic) I chose "why don't you bite me? No one ever asked you for a fucking thing so you can just go to hell" after which I gathered the children (amid protests) and came home.

He is on my "Chevy's" list now, which basically means that if I ever interact with him again, it will be too soon. If he ever says another word to me, things WILL get ugly. I will say every mean, vicious hateful thing I have ever said in my head to him straight to his face and it won't be pretty for anyone.

As a result of this, the kids and I won't be spending time up upstairs when he is home anymore. Because of that, I was forced to clean off our outside stairs since I won't be using the inside ones because they come through their dining room. The outside stairs were so gross. We rarely used them because they are concrete and they are kind of steep so it was just easier to use the inside stairs. Because we weren't using htem, they got all full of bugs and dirt and then I wouldn't use them because they were awful. While I cooked dinner last night, I started cleaning them. I don't really have a phobia of spiders but I don't like them. I was so icked out by the sheer number of spiders that were in the stairs that I just sprayed a boatload of Raid and shut the door. 15 minutes later, I went back and cleaned up all the bodies. Then I swept down all the cobwebs and as much of the dirt as I could. I had RF put in a new lightbulb (since we weren't using it, there was no point in lighting it and attracting still more bugs) and today I scrubbed all the stairs with bleach water and called our landlord about getting a banister on those stairs so they are less dangerous to use.

While I was scrubbing the stairs I made a super discovery. I was looking for a pair of old pants to wear while I cleaned because I didn't want to get bleach on my "good" clothes. I rooted around in my closet and came up with an old pair of jeans in size 34 (I wear men's jeans because woman's don't fit right). I thought "I'll never wear a 34 again so it won't be that big of a deal if I get bleach on them. Besides, they probably won't even zip so I can just pitch them when I'm done" Miracle of miracles, they not only buttoned but zipped as well. They were tight, tight, tight but then as I wore them, they loosened up. By the time I was done, I could not only squat in them but I could bend over as well. 10 pounds and I could wear them fairly comfortably!! This is amazing. I don't think I've worn 34 since before MT was born. I hang on to all my old sizes thinking that one day, I just might be able to wear them. At for those pants, it looks like "one day" has come sooner than I expected!

Oh baby!

My cousin is having her baby today. She isn't due until August 31st but she is a double lung and heart transplant patient and her blood pressure has sky-rocketed. It was something like 190 over 105 when they admitted her yesterday.

8 years ago, when she had the transplant, she was told that she could never have children because of the strain on her body and the rejection drugs she would have to take put her at HIGH risk for birth defects. Over the past several years, she has reduced her meds to the bare minimum. To the point that she was taking them once a month or less. Then she got pregnant and went off of them completely and has been for the whole time that she has been pregnant. The doctors were cautiously optimistic but were watching her very carefully the entire time.

They told her all along that her body couldn't handle the stress of labor and that she would have a C/S. Well since she is 6 weeks premature, they went ahead and induced labor, to stimulate the baby for life outside. She has labored all day and the doctor told her that she would eventually have a C/S, but they want her to labor as long as she can so the baby gets as much stimulation as it can.

Today is also her birthday and when the doctor found that out, he told her that she would have the baby before midnight, one way or another. That way, she and the baby can share a birthday. Obviously, not the ideal since it is still 6 weeks early, but if it has to be, then it might as well be today instead of tomorrow.

My mom talked to her husband about 6:30 tonight and he said nothing was happening yet and I haven't heard anymore since then. If she hasn't by now, she should have the baby in the next hour. Honestly, I hope they didn't make her labor literally all day (my mom told me about it at 9:30 this morning and I think she had been laboring for awhile then) and then do a C/S in the middle of the night :( Hopefully, she already has the baby and everything is fine, instead of still being in labor and knowing that major surgery looms large in her future.

Family relations

I'm pretty freaking tired of Radioactive Freak's brother and SIL. The issues started before we were married. They lived in Virginia at the time and we sent them an invitation to our wedding (obviously, because it is his FREAKING brother) They RSVPed that they couldn't come because they didn't have any vacation time. For those of you that don't know, we got married the Friday after Thanksgiving so they would only have had to take one day off. They could have driven down on Thursday, come to the wedding on Friday, driven home on Saturday, no big deal. But they didn't. They didn't even bother send a gift (which is so NOT the point but seriously it is his FREAKING brother). Fast forward a couple of years, they have moved back home and we invite them to The Boy's birthday party. They had some reason that they couldn't come, I think it was a family trip somewhere. Come Feb, we were invited to the niece's b-day and we went. Then it was May and Ms Thang had her party. They couldn't come because niece had a TKD competition. Come October, The Boy had another party and they had another TKD tournament. Then for Ms. Thangs b-day, it was a trip to visit SIL's grandparents. The Boy's next birthday (last year for those keeping count) brought yet another excuse, although I don't remember what it is. Tomorrow is Ms Thang's party and we have yet another excuse from them. This one is by far the worst and the last straw. SIL called me and said they couldn't come because gas prices are too high to drive to down another time! I know that gas prices are high, but are you freaking kidding me?? Helping your niece celebrate her birthday isn't worth the 4 freaking dollars it would take to come down?? Give me a break!!

I'm completely done with them. I will never make an attempt to do anything with them again. I will never go to another event at their house, for any reason. Xmas at BIL and SIL's house? Forget it. Family cookout? Not happening. I told Radioactive Freak that his grandma better never die because I WILL NOT, under an circumstance, being going to their house for thanksgiving. RF is going to call me childish and petty and I am, but that isn't the point. The point is, I'm angry about yet another slight and I'm done with them. I'm done inviting them to things as well. No need to give them another chance to come up with a lame and stupid excuse. Screw them!

Good times

Yesterday we went to McD's with Quigs and Looseyfur and let the kids run wild. Quigs has been in a funk and avoiding people and Looseyfur has been house bound with a sicky and the both needed some time out. Plus, when I suggested McD's for dinner Lizzie begged for Quigs to go. LOL

Today, C had his first 4-H meeting. It wasn't exactly how I remember 4-H being but we shall see once he really gets going in it. He picked Bicycles as his project so now he needs to do a poster about either bicycle maitenence or safety. We haven't talked about it specifically yet but we will see what he wants later.

Then, we had my grandma, great grandma, aunt, uncle and cousin over for a Mother's Day cookout. We had roast pork loin that was super tasty! My cousin (who is 15 or 16) spent most of the afternoon hanging out and playing with Lizzie. She thought that was the coolest thing ever and kept talking about how he was her best friend.

Then, we had the playgroup over for S'mores. I was FREAKED that it was going to rain because it was getting super dark and the radar showed rain all over the area. It held off though and everyone had a super time. The kids ran around and played in the yard and the drive. Thanks to the dads who hung out in the drive shooting hoops with the kids. Evan even made a friend tonight. He hung with Quigs' husband and talked video games and then invited him to his game night, which is seriously nerd central LOL

I put the kids in bed and they were asleep before I was out of the shower because they were super tired. Now, I'm planning to put the cloths in the dryer, finish watching One Tree Hill and go to bed myself.

Tomorrow, I get my awesome mother's day gifts, then we are going to breakfast with my cousin from MN. We are going to be up there in 3 weeks but she came down to visit some of her (she actualy isn't my cousin, she married my cousin but close enough) family that lives down here and called us to get together tomorrow.