Overheard: Weekend edition

RF: Little girls are made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice.
MF: Not me, I'm made of black holes, unending pits of doom and bombs. Cause I'm mean.

Me: I don't know, I'm a little annoyed right now, so we'll see once we get home.
WF: Mom, how can you be annoyed at Meatheads? It is happiness between two buns!

 MF: I don't have an ear infection yet but it's coming. It's like the ear infection train, next stop MF's ear *choo choo*

Overheard: Race car edition

The kids were playing a race car game while I was driving the other day from the backseat I hear:

MF: MF is in the lead. WF is bringing up the rear. MF wins! MF wins, the crowd goes wild!

WF: No way MF did not win. She is a cheater. Just look, she has special antioxidant tires.

Overheard: That about sums it up edition

Me: rant, rant rant, you need to things in a timely manner, quit piddling around, rant, rant rant.

WF: The only that runs on me is my nose.

MF: And your mouth.

WF: *appalled*

Me: Yeah, she's not wrong LOL

Overheard:I'm glad today's youth are so well traveled edition

Girl at school: I've been lots of far away places, like New York and Urbana. ROFL

Overheard: That is NOT a good name for a band edition

WF: Hey Mom, do you know what my favorite "Black Guys Pee" song is?
Me: What?!
WF: I like that song by the "Black Guys Pee", you know the one about "I've got a Feeling"
Me: Oh you mean BLACK EYED PEAS
WF: That is what I said.

Overheard: Hey, I have a captive audience edition

MF: Mom, I think you should buy that house. I like it
Me: Yeah baby, I know but someone else offered to buy it and we don't want to spend that much money on that house
MF: Well, I have some money in my piggy bank. You can borrow that and then you won't have to spend your money on it.'
Me: Thanks but you don't have to spend your money on a house
MF: Oh, can I use it buy something for me then?


MF: Mom, sorry I'm mean sometimes. Do you know why I'm mean sometimes?
Me: I have no idea why
MF: Because I'm half girl, half evil
Me: Oh

MF: Mom, I miss Kalahari. I wish we could go back. Maybe we could live there. If I lived there, I would go every day and use that fun outdoor pool. But since we live here and not there, maybe we should just go visit this summer and use the outdoor pool.
Me: That would be fun but we aren't taking a vacation this summer because we are saving our money to buy a house.
MF: You mean if we don't buy a house, we could go to Kalahari? Then forget about that house. I like my room. We don't need to move, just Forget. About. It.

MF: When I'm grow up, I'm going to name my kids Flower, Rose Petal and Junior. But then the dog licked me and when you get licked by a dog, you get dog cooties and that means when you grow up, you have to married a dog and have dog kids. I guess I will name them Flower, Rose Petal and Junior but I don't really want to have doggie kids or marry a dog. I shouldn't let the dog lick me anymore so that doesn't happen.
Me: *thinking* Have you taken a breath yet and really how far away is this freaking store!

Overheard: Well she sort of reminds me of her

Tonight at dinner, I was telling RF about The Bloggess and how she got in trouble with eBay for trying to sell her cat with her camera that was damaged by ghosts.

MF started acting all weird and freaked out and crying about ghosts. RF told her that there were no such thing as ghosts. She looked at WF and said
Mom was telling Dad that Quigs had a ghost in her house and it BROKE HER CAMERA!
Me: Baby, I wasn't talking about Quigs. I was talking about a lady I don't know who was being funny. She wasn't serious about the ghosts.
MF: Oh, well, ok.

I told RF The Bloggess does sort of remind me of Quigs a little in her humor and writing style but I'm kind of wondering how MF made that leap.

Overheard: Maybe a little stalker-ish edition

WF and MF were talking about Justin "Beaver" today in the car.

WF: I wish I knew him, I would invite him to dinner so we could talk about his career

Me: Yeah? What would you talk to him about his career?

WF: Like when he learned to play guitar and how cool it is to be a rock star

MF: I wish I had a phone so I could text him. We could have a text chat

WF: You can't text him.

MF: Why not?

WF: You don't have a phone and he has lawyers

Overheard: Enough already edition

We have been going skating a couple of times a week for the past couple of weeks. MF really shows a talent for it and LOVES going. WF has always liked it and was disappointed when we weren't going as often as he would like. While we were there last week, I ran into an old friend of my brother's and we were talking while we skated.

After she skated away, WF skated up and said: Hey, who was that
Me: A friend of D's
WF: Oh yeah? Does she have a sister?
Me: Uh, no but she has a daughter your age
WF: Do you think you could introduce me?
Me: Dude, don't you think you have enough girl friends?
WF: Nope. So, you gonna introduce me?
Me: Fine

ROFL

Overheard: what are they teaching you at that school edition

Little girl at school: Hey, do you know what x-rated means
Little boy: blank stare
Me: (thinking) holy crap this could get really bad, really fast but I don't want to make a huge deal out of it, in case it is nothing
LG: I was x-rated once
Me: WTF!
LG yeah, it was my ear, they took pictures of it.
Me: Oh, you mean x-RAYED, not x-rated! woo

Little boy: get out of the way, fat ass.
Other teacher: you don't say that, not nice, apologize, time out etc
Little boy called name: He didn't call me fat ass, he called me Fed Ex

Seriously, so going to be my new insult!

MT: I don't know how to play this game.
Non: Well let me look at the directions and I'll tell you what to do.
MT: I already read the directions and they didn't do any good.
Non: Uh, you can't read, that is why they didn't help.
MT: huh, maybe that's why

ROFL

Overheard at the Freak house

MT at the fabric store, looking a Disney Princess Fleece: My daddy loves princesses.
Me: I don't think Daddy is interested in Princess fleece, kiddo.
MT: yep, my daddy loves me and he calls me princess so he must love princesses.

Not an altogether wrong logical leap

Not overheard really but still funny as hell. I was going through some stuff on my desk today and found some papers that came home from school at the end of the year, last year. Some of them were writing prompts and one said "I my heart" and the kids were supposed to write about something they were feeling. TB's said "I don't have anything in my heart. Ask my brain" ROFL The next one was just a blank page with no prompt and he wrote "I have nothing to write about" Nothing like being honest on your writing homework LOL

Overheard at the Freak house

My mom took the kids to McDonald's tonight to play and have ice cream. The Boy wanted his sister to play army with him and she wouldn't. We told him that if he wanted someone to play with him, he needed to think up a game that she was willing to play. So he yelled at us

TB: I'm a 6 year old boy!
My mom: So, what does that mean?
TB:I like violence. I like army and Star Wars and Indiana Jones

Overheard at the pool

11 year old girl: I'm gonna tell him you like him
Other 11 year old girl: Don't you dare tell him that. If you tell him that, I won't be your friend anymore.
11 YOG: Whatever *walks away*

11 YOG: *comes back* Guess what, he said he'd go out with you
O 11 YOG: Really? He said that? I can't believe it.
11 YOG: Yeah, I told him that I'd give him a quarter if he would go out with you.

And all I could think? OMG, you totally pimped your friend out for a QUARTER! LOL