Thursday, March 19, 2009

Just say it

I'm reading this book that is pretty decent overall. The issue that I have with it is the main character is sort of maybe but not really dating this guy. Every other paragraph is her talking about how she doesn't know if they are a couple and doesn't want to say anything that might indicate that in case they aren't and he bolts because coupledom scares him but she doesn't want to ask either, blah blah blah.

Why, oh why do people not just say the things they mean and ask for what they want? Why do people beat around the bush, use double speak and agonize ENDLESSLY over insane stuff like that? I was NEVER that way so I simply don't understand the motivation.

If you like someone, you tell them. If they like you back, they should tell you. If they don't like you back, they aren't worth your time to begin with so why all the stress? If you don't like them, you need to tell them. Leading them on and trying to be "nice" only causes problems. You can be blunt and to the point without being a jerk (which was the other thing I was thinking about writing but they work together so you all get one post today).

Today on the radio the email was basically "I have a co-worker that is an Oprah nut. She insists on recapping the show for me, at length everyday. I don't like Oprah, what can I do" Many of the calls were suggestions like "save all your important work until she shows up and claim to be too busy to talk" "rat her out the boss for spending so much time not working" etc. Only one caller suggested watching an episode, then telling you aren't a fan.

My suggestion? Be blunt but don't be a jerk. The person could tell her "I understand that you a huge Oprah fan but I'm just not. I'm here to work, not to listen a description of a show I don't like". And walk away. End of story. You aren't hiding from her or lying to her (which will only bite you in the ass). Just say what you mean. No need to make anything more complicated than that.

1 comment:

Katherine said...

Oh for a world in which we all speak our minds...unless you want to say something I don't want to hear! Just kidding.