I'm reading this book that is pretty decent overall. The issue that I have with it is the main character is sort of maybe but not really dating this guy. Every other paragraph is her talking about how she doesn't know if they are a couple and doesn't want to say anything that might indicate that in case they aren't and he bolts because coupledom scares him but she doesn't want to ask either, blah blah blah.
Why, oh why do people not just say the things they mean and ask for what they want? Why do people beat around the bush, use double speak and agonize ENDLESSLY over insane stuff like that? I was NEVER that way so I simply don't understand the motivation.
If you like someone, you tell them. If they like you back, they should tell you. If they don't like you back, they aren't worth your time to begin with so why all the stress? If you don't like them, you need to tell them. Leading them on and trying to be "nice" only causes problems. You can be blunt and to the point without being a jerk (which was the other thing I was thinking about writing but they work together so you all get one post today).
Today on the radio the email was basically "I have a co-worker that is an Oprah nut. She insists on recapping the show for me, at length everyday. I don't like Oprah, what can I do" Many of the calls were suggestions like "save all your important work until she shows up and claim to be too busy to talk" "rat her out the boss for spending so much time not working" etc. Only one caller suggested watching an episode, then telling you aren't a fan.
My suggestion? Be blunt but don't be a jerk. The person could tell her "I understand that you a huge Oprah fan but I'm just not. I'm here to work, not to listen a description of a show I don't like". And walk away. End of story. You aren't hiding from her or lying to her (which will only bite you in the ass). Just say what you mean. No need to make anything more complicated than that.
Showing posts with label email fix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label email fix. Show all posts
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Mom's email fix - bad singer at a wedding
Dear Reader,
We've asked my future sister in law to sing at our wedding. As it is turns out, she can't carry a tune in a bucket and I regret my choice. The wedding is a month away, what should I do?
My take? First of all, who the heck asks someone to sing at ANY function without first hearing them sing. You wouldn't hire a photographer without having seen their work? The same applies to a singer. Serves you right for not "trying before you buy".
Second, people put WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on weddings. They are big parties. They aren't the end all and be all of your life. It seems like as soon as people get engaged, they lose their damn minds and start planning these HUGE, expensive to dos and then end up getting all upset when things don't go EXACTLY as planned. And seriously, when does everything go exactly the way you plan it? Something will always happen and you can either get stressed and pissed about it or you can laugh and enjoy your party and move on with your life. At our wedding, the best man was late enough that he missed the ceremony, the flower girl refused to walk down the aisle at the last minute and the minister presented us as Mr and Mrs "my last name" We laughed and went on because it WASN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
In this case, the woman needs to get over it. She asked someone to sing, she needs to let the woman sing. People might cringe and wonder why she asked her to sing, but people will remember the wedding. She should know better for next time and then go about getting on with her life, instead of dwelling on the fact that she brought this on herself.
We've asked my future sister in law to sing at our wedding. As it is turns out, she can't carry a tune in a bucket and I regret my choice. The wedding is a month away, what should I do?
My take? First of all, who the heck asks someone to sing at ANY function without first hearing them sing. You wouldn't hire a photographer without having seen their work? The same applies to a singer. Serves you right for not "trying before you buy".
Second, people put WAY TOO MUCH emphasis on weddings. They are big parties. They aren't the end all and be all of your life. It seems like as soon as people get engaged, they lose their damn minds and start planning these HUGE, expensive to dos and then end up getting all upset when things don't go EXACTLY as planned. And seriously, when does everything go exactly the way you plan it? Something will always happen and you can either get stressed and pissed about it or you can laugh and enjoy your party and move on with your life. At our wedding, the best man was late enough that he missed the ceremony, the flower girl refused to walk down the aisle at the last minute and the minister presented us as Mr and Mrs "my last name" We laughed and went on because it WASN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
In this case, the woman needs to get over it. She asked someone to sing, she needs to let the woman sing. People might cringe and wonder why she asked her to sing, but people will remember the wedding. She should know better for next time and then go about getting on with her life, instead of dwelling on the fact that she brought this on herself.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Mom's email fix - heartbreak leave
Today's email fix is about a company that offers "heartbreak leave" to it's employees. These are days off to be used in the event of a bad break up or divorce. Should these be given to American workers?
I'm of 2 minds on this question. Partly, I'm with the lady who said "you have personal days for a reason and this is a perfect use of those days" On the other hand, American workers have next to no time off compared to the rest of the world. We are sadly lacking in everything from vacations to maternity leave. A few extra personal days wouldn't kill anyone.
I think if you title something "heartbreak leave" you leave yourself open to many problems. First of all, what about people like my parents who have been married 30 and likely aren't getting divorced, ever. They lose out on this benefit. Calling it personal days lets anyone have access to it for any reason. "Heartbreak leave" would also have to come with stipulations. How long have they been together? 2 weeks? Doubtful that you are heartbroken, you just want a day off. What was the state of the relationship? Had they been seperated for a year and both had already started dating other people when the divorce was final? Probably already moved on and are just looking for a day off. All of that stuff is so SUBJECTIVE that it would be impossible to say and you would have people trying to get out of work all the time because they were "heartbroken"
It also raises all kinds of questions. What is the limit per year? Do longer relationships get more days? Who determines how long it would take each person to get over something? Too much subjectivity. Add some extra personal or vacation or whatever days each year and call it good.
I'm of 2 minds on this question. Partly, I'm with the lady who said "you have personal days for a reason and this is a perfect use of those days" On the other hand, American workers have next to no time off compared to the rest of the world. We are sadly lacking in everything from vacations to maternity leave. A few extra personal days wouldn't kill anyone.
I think if you title something "heartbreak leave" you leave yourself open to many problems. First of all, what about people like my parents who have been married 30 and likely aren't getting divorced, ever. They lose out on this benefit. Calling it personal days lets anyone have access to it for any reason. "Heartbreak leave" would also have to come with stipulations. How long have they been together? 2 weeks? Doubtful that you are heartbroken, you just want a day off. What was the state of the relationship? Had they been seperated for a year and both had already started dating other people when the divorce was final? Probably already moved on and are just looking for a day off. All of that stuff is so SUBJECTIVE that it would be impossible to say and you would have people trying to get out of work all the time because they were "heartbroken"
It also raises all kinds of questions. What is the limit per year? Do longer relationships get more days? Who determines how long it would take each person to get over something? Too much subjectivity. Add some extra personal or vacation or whatever days each year and call it good.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Mom's email fix
A radio station I listen to does a segment called the "Mix Email Fix" Something with our phones doesn't agree with the radio station and we can't call them, for anything. So I never get to give my opinion on these or win call in contest or anything like that. Since I can't give my opinion on the radio (and we all know I have one, about everything), you, my faithful and loyal readers, get to read about it here. Feel free to weigh in if you have an opinion as well :)
Today's problem was a woman recently got married but had been lying to her fiance about her age all along. She has been claiming to be 28, when in reality she is 38! Big difference there. She wanted to know what she should do now that things were going to be long term.
My opinion is that she needs to tell him, like yesterday about it, but needs to be prepared for the possibility that he might leave because of it. If you have lied the entire you have been together about something as basic as age (and not just a year or two, but 10 years!), what else have you been lying about? The world may never know.
Stay tuned for further installments, as the topic interests me :)
Today's problem was a woman recently got married but had been lying to her fiance about her age all along. She has been claiming to be 28, when in reality she is 38! Big difference there. She wanted to know what she should do now that things were going to be long term.
My opinion is that she needs to tell him, like yesterday about it, but needs to be prepared for the possibility that he might leave because of it. If you have lied the entire you have been together about something as basic as age (and not just a year or two, but 10 years!), what else have you been lying about? The world may never know.
Stay tuned for further installments, as the topic interests me :)
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