Overheard: Hey, I have a captive audience edition

MF: Mom, I think you should buy that house. I like it
Me: Yeah baby, I know but someone else offered to buy it and we don't want to spend that much money on that house
MF: Well, I have some money in my piggy bank. You can borrow that and then you won't have to spend your money on it.'
Me: Thanks but you don't have to spend your money on a house
MF: Oh, can I use it buy something for me then?


MF: Mom, sorry I'm mean sometimes. Do you know why I'm mean sometimes?
Me: I have no idea why
MF: Because I'm half girl, half evil
Me: Oh

MF: Mom, I miss Kalahari. I wish we could go back. Maybe we could live there. If I lived there, I would go every day and use that fun outdoor pool. But since we live here and not there, maybe we should just go visit this summer and use the outdoor pool.
Me: That would be fun but we aren't taking a vacation this summer because we are saving our money to buy a house.
MF: You mean if we don't buy a house, we could go to Kalahari? Then forget about that house. I like my room. We don't need to move, just Forget. About. It.

MF: When I'm grow up, I'm going to name my kids Flower, Rose Petal and Junior. But then the dog licked me and when you get licked by a dog, you get dog cooties and that means when you grow up, you have to married a dog and have dog kids. I guess I will name them Flower, Rose Petal and Junior but I don't really want to have doggie kids or marry a dog. I shouldn't let the dog lick me anymore so that doesn't happen.
Me: *thinking* Have you taken a breath yet and really how far away is this freaking store!