overheard: nailed it edition

WF is playing Xbox while MF plays with her slap bracelet. She commented that it could be a hair accessory.

WF: Yeah, for a freak maybe. You should donate it to the freak society.
MF: I know the freak society. I used to the be the president. Now I'm the vice president.

And that, my friends just about sums it up, doesn't it!

It is like Planet of the Apes around here

MF and I had to run to the store for a few things tonight and she was telling me that she learned that farmers are important because they grow all of our food for us. So we were talking about where different things came from like cheese and eggs. I asked her were pork roast came from. She said "from Porks" Then I asked about coffee and bananas. She didn't know about coffee but said that bananas came from monkeys. I laughed and of course she got mad, telling me that the people that live with the monkeys climb the trees and pick the bananas to give to the monkeys. She doesn't believe that the monkeys can get their own bananas.

Overheard: Hey, I have a captive audience edition

MF: Mom, I think you should buy that house. I like it
Me: Yeah baby, I know but someone else offered to buy it and we don't want to spend that much money on that house
MF: Well, I have some money in my piggy bank. You can borrow that and then you won't have to spend your money on it.'
Me: Thanks but you don't have to spend your money on a house
MF: Oh, can I use it buy something for me then?


MF: Mom, sorry I'm mean sometimes. Do you know why I'm mean sometimes?
Me: I have no idea why
MF: Because I'm half girl, half evil
Me: Oh

MF: Mom, I miss Kalahari. I wish we could go back. Maybe we could live there. If I lived there, I would go every day and use that fun outdoor pool. But since we live here and not there, maybe we should just go visit this summer and use the outdoor pool.
Me: That would be fun but we aren't taking a vacation this summer because we are saving our money to buy a house.
MF: You mean if we don't buy a house, we could go to Kalahari? Then forget about that house. I like my room. We don't need to move, just Forget. About. It.

MF: When I'm grow up, I'm going to name my kids Flower, Rose Petal and Junior. But then the dog licked me and when you get licked by a dog, you get dog cooties and that means when you grow up, you have to married a dog and have dog kids. I guess I will name them Flower, Rose Petal and Junior but I don't really want to have doggie kids or marry a dog. I shouldn't let the dog lick me anymore so that doesn't happen.
Me: *thinking* Have you taken a breath yet and really how far away is this freaking store!

Overheard: Really? Edition

Tonight, I was watching CSI and the opening scene is of a dog barking. The man and woman are laying on the bed and he says to her "it is your turn to deal with that dog" She said the dog was probably tormenting a opossum.

I was planning to switch over the clothes and paused the show. As I got up, I commented to RF "This is CSI. If the dog is barking, you are probably going to fine a dead body on your lawn and it won't be a opossum" then I walked away.

RF: Well, the dog has quit barking and the lady hasn't come back yet
Me: Uh, I PAUSED it
RF: Oh. Shut up, I hate you

LOL

The Magnificent Freak speaks

Quote from my daughter tonight while I was in the shower and she finished going to the bathroom.
MF: Mom, I didn't flush because I didn't want to burn you
Me: Thanks, that was nice of you
MF: If I burned you, I wouldn't have a mom anymore. I would just have a dad and a dead mom in the bathtub.
Me: Um, ok (WTF is she watching on TV)

Bring it on

We were driving in the car the other day and following conversation came from the back seat

MT: Hi, my name is The Boy and I like cheeeeeese
TB: I do not like cheese. Cheese is my mortal enemy!

Love and Marriage

We have been having some issues getting TB to brush his teeth. The other night I told him "Dude, if you don't brush your teeth, PK (the girl he has a huge crush on in his class) won't want to kiss you" I said this fully expecting the response of "eww, girls are gross. Instead he promptly turned and ran for the bathroom to brush his teeth! When he came back, he said "PK will never want to kiss me anyway"
Me: why not?
TB: because I'm 7 (said with all the "DUH" he could muster
Me: what does that have to do with anything?
TB: She's 6!
Me: Again, what does that have to do with anything
TB: We are different ages
Me: Daddy and I are different ages, Nonni and Paw-paw are different ages. It is ok to be different ages.
TB: turns and goes to his room "whatever"

The other day MT and I were at the grocery store and out of no where she says "I'm getting married"
Me: Who are you marrying?
MT: you
Me: you can't marry me, we are related. You have to marry someone you aren't related to
MT: well who am I not related to?
Me: X-man, PG (equal opportunity, of course), Bubba, Curious J, Lightening McColin...
MT: Oh, I need to go on a date with Bubba!!

You were?

MT just came in the living room and we had the following conversation.

MT: I'm really brave
Me: Oh, you are? What did you do that was brave?
MT: I was beating up the guy with the thing that beats up and then I had to beat Inferno*. So that means I'm really brave. Can you turn on the TV for your brave little girl
Me: Uh, sure :)


*For those not in the know, Inferno is the final bad guy in Soul Caliber, which she was playing with Evan.

It constantly amazes me how technologically advanced she is. She can log herself on and off the computer, access her favorites, and play all the games without any help. She also plays video games like a champ on all the consoles we have. She often beats TB at some of the various games :)

LMAO

TB went to the monster truck show tonight, with my dad. When he got home, he was telling us about it and RF asked him about the mega-saurus (or whatever name they gave the robot dino this year)and he says "yeah, it was there, but it was completely new, totally redone, refurnished, structured settlement..." That was when I got to laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and he couldn't tell us the rest of the story.

Then, I told him he needed to head for bed because we have a busy day tomorrow. I said "in the morning, we are going to the movie then we'll have lunch, then we'll go to K's party". He started dancing around the living room singing "I'm going to a party, I'm going to a party, I'm going to a party, at exactly 2pm" LOL

Too much Star Wars?

Tonight at our meetup, TB was talking to Special K about the Wondertwins and they had the following discussion:
TB: Hey, they look the same. Are they clones?
SK: Well, they have the same DNA so I suppose technically they are clones. They were one and then they split apart into two.
TB: *looking at her seriously and nodding* In a cloning machine?
SK: Well, I suppose, again, technically.
TB: Ok

I'm thinking her might be watching a BIT too much Star Wars LOL

Big update-y update

So Purple Cow accused me of being inconsistant in my blogging. I seriously have 15 posts written in my head that just never make it to the page. When I sit down at the computer, it sucks all the brain out of my head and with it my posts. Plus, I'm in a winter slump and the deepest thoughts I can manage are what clothes to wear each day. Normally, I don't do updates that often because I see a lot of you regularly and I figure the rest don't care about my day to day stuff. But there is a lot of stuff to talk about so you are getting a paragraph update :)

I picked up my van tonight from Tatman's. In case you don't know, it was parked at Christie parking lot a couple of weeks ago and a guy was pulling into the space in front of it and missed the break, hitting the gas instead. I had a couple of puncture holes in the front bumper but he busted his radiator. It still cost over $800 to get it fixed. We took it in yesterday and I have driving a Grand Prix for the last 2 days. Even though it was a "full size" car, it was tiny and little and I'm super glad to have my van back.

I some super b-day presents all ready for my upcoming celebration. I'm trying to decide if the Happy Bunny would be acceptable as a purse :)

Looseyfur commented the other day "well you guys don't have jobs so it is ok" I knew what she meant and it didn't bother me. However, I've been filling out some online surveys and then yesterday at Enterprise it happened too. The guy askd where I worked and I said "at home" because I dare anyone to tell me that a SAHM doesn't work and he said "what is the business name" I told him no name (although I should make one up and just use it from now on), I was a SAHM and he said "oh, so you don't work at all them" WTF? Seriously?

Apparently, I don't possess the ability to suspend disbelief enough for Lost. I can read all these wacky vampire books where vamps and witches and shapeshifters and demons are all real. I can watch Lost and buy smoke monsters, polar bears in the jungle, secret organizations doing experiments, etc etc etc. But time travel? No way, get real! LOL

It occured to me today (after busting Quigs' chops a little about not posting) that I hadn't logged into Blogger for 3 days. No wonder I didn't think anyone had updated. Duh!

This kid is all kinds of awesome! I wonder if he needs plain folk support for his cause? (I'll post a video of his interview if I can find it)

Finally a conversation with MT.

MT: yak yak yak, something about laser tag
Me: nods head
MT: yak yak something else about laser tag (I swear to God she talked about laser tag for over 10 minutes by this point in the conversation, I had moved on)
Me: nods again
MT: MOM, you need to respond to me when I talk to you!
Me:I did respond, I nodded
MT: Well I can't hear your brain rattle, now can I?

ROFL

How to be cool

MT: There is a new girl in my class
Me: Oh yeah?
MT: Yeah, she is cool
Me: She is?
MT: Yup, she likes me and thinks I'm awesome so that makes her cool

So apparently you aren't cool unless you think MT is awesome ROFL

How was school today

That is a pretty standard question in our house. The answer is usually either "fine" or "I'm not telling you", depending on which kid is asked. After the "fine" response, we follow up with various detail questions to get more info from him. These include "how was lunch", "what did you do in Math", "did you go to reading today", etc. Today, he said he didn't go to reading so I asked what he did in his class. He said he worked with Mr. D, the student teacher, who he thinks is AWESOME.

In yet another desperate attempt to extract a tiny bit of info from a very tightly closed mouth, I asked "what did you do with Mr. D for reading?" His response? "We worked on phonemic awareness"

Ah, well then, glad we could have this talk LOL

New living arrangment

MT told me today that she wants to go live with Quigs. She said I yell too much and it makes her sad and that Quigs would be nicer to her. I pointed out that Quigs is a yeller too but she said she would listen to her and she wouldn't need to yell. She said that on Saturday morning, she is going to have her daddy call Quigs and see if she can live with her. Why Saturday morning? I have no idea but that is D-day as far as she is concerned.

She has it all planned out too. We told her that Quigs doesn't have Mario Party (her favorite game) and she said that was fine, she would just take our copy with her. TB went on and on about the things she couldn't do if she went to live Quigs and she blew each of them off.

Later in the evening, with a stuck out lip and big, dramatic eyes she told us that she would miss us a lot when she went to live with Quigs and I pointed out that she didn't have to go. She said "yes I do. I don't like it when you yell (which has already been established in this blog that I'm aware of the problem and trying to correct it) and I miss Bubba and Pretty Girl" Ah. That makes sense.

So Quigs, if my little stray shows up at your house (I told her I wouldn't take her over because you don't like strays so you don't feed them), don't feed her but do be sure to let her see your kids for a few minutes before you call me to get her

Overheard at the Freak house

I haven't done an "overheard" for awhile and it is high time.

TB, peeking over my shoulder while I watched a junky post-teenage CW drama:
"Holy crap, she is going to shoot him in the face!"

MT refusing to go come home from Nonni's last night:
"Nope, Negatory, Not.Gonna.Happen"

You want a date?

The conversation started innocently enough. TB said that his sister was like Megan from Drake and Josh, smart and evil.
Ok so if she is Megan, then are you Drake or Josh?
Drake of course, he is a rockstar.
Yeah? Josh is kind of cool too (he isn't but you know)
No he isn't Drake plays guitar and kisses girls
Would you like to kiss girls?
Yeah, pretty much
Which girls would you like to kiss?
Well, N's sister is in love with me but I don't know which I would rather date.

Then we had this whole long involved discussion about the girls in his class and you who he might like to date.

You are screwing with my childhood here

We went to Texas Roadhouse the other night for dinner. Tb said that was where he wanted to go for his birthday so we did. Those of you that have been know, they play nothing but country music there. And they play it way too loud. Seriously, I shouldn't have to bellow to be heard by the people at my table at dinner. Anyway, we got in the car to leave and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts were on the radio when we got in the car. MT relaxed into her seat and sighed, saying "finally, some good music" LOL

TB always wants to "rock" when we listen to music. I have a couple of old CDs that I made a while back titled oh so inventively "rock mix" and "rock 2" so I decided to pop them in. Last night, we were on the way to PTA and TB asked to "rock". I put in "rock mix" and started skipping around to see what was on it. I came across "Bohemian Rhapsody" and let it play. TB told me that it "didn't rock". The net song up on the disk was "1979" by Smashing Pumpkins. Not one of my favorite songs, but fairly iconic of my high school days. I was listening too it while he is yelling from the back seat "change the song". I told him no, it was a rock song. His response? "This song does not rock, in fact it sucks"

This was my YOUTH dude, you will listen to the song and you WILL like it. Then the song ended and "Rat in a Cage" came on and he decided that that was acceptable and rocked just enough. How very lame!

Surprise

MT to TB: Hey, I got you a birthday present
TB: You did? What did you get me?
MT: I can't tell you. It's a surprise.
Me: good job MT, don't tell him and ruin the surprise
MT: Well I don't know what it is so I can't tell him but even if I did know, I wouldn't tell him.

MT being MT

Yesterday morning before school
MT: I don't want to go to school
Nonni: Why not?
MT: My mommy does fun stuff without me while I'm at school. I miss so much
Me: Uh, dude, I'm coming home and cleaning the house, if you think that is fun, then have at it
MT: No way Jorge (because she thinks that is the saying LOL), I'm going to school, cleaning sucks!

Yesterday at school
Me: I love you
MT: I love you too
Me: Have a good day
MT: K
Me: Have fun today
MT: K
Me: Be nice to your friends
MT: sighs oh Mom!

Today at the library MT was playing with a puzzle. A little girl came over and started alternating between trying to play with it and trying to take it away. Mt covered it with her hands and said "no thanks, I'm playing with this right now" (aside: maybe preschool has started doing some good since she didn't scream or try to hit the girl with the puzzle). The got up and came back a minute later with her mom.
Crazy mom: you need to share, you are being very rude
MT: Leave me alone
CM: shocked and appalled "that is very rude, you need some manners"
MT: Don't you talk back to me! I said LEAVE ME ALONE.

The mom walked away, flabbergasted. I decided that MT had pretty well handled it and left the mom alone. Besides, my reponse would have been just as grouchy and probably much more foul than MT's so I left it alone LOL

Really?

I was joking the other day about being a slave. I told RF the definition of slave was someone who does all the work and gets no pay. Sounds like a SAHM to me! So tonight, I finished reading to TB and as I was leaving his room I said "Goodnight, I love you" he responded with "goodnight slave" "Whatever dude" so he said "fine then, good night, handmaiden" Really? WTF Where did he ever hear that at? :)