Perfectionists and reading

Look, an update. I know you have all (and I know you are out there reading because site meter tells me so LOL) been holding your breath waiting for a new post from me. Well, you can breathe again because I'm back. Not that I went anywhere, I just didn't log into Blogger at all for like a week. Of course I picked blog month to do that so several blogs that I read were overflowing when I finally did log in :)

C is in K. When he started K, he claimed to know none of his letters. Bad mother that I am, I didn't stress about it too much, figuring that is, partly, what K is about. So when he came home after a couple of weeks of school telling me "this is a C and this is an H" or whatever, I was pretty impressed. I'm impressed when he asks to write words and we tell him what letters to write and he does it. He asked daddy how to write ZEBRA the other day. Daddy told him and he wrote it on the chalk board. The first day I worked in his classroom, I met his reading teacher. She is really nice but was concerned with the fact that he could write his name, but couldn't spell it. She said most kids can spell it or can't do anything but it is rare that they can write it without knowing what the letters are. I explained to her about his perfectionism (he won't do anything until he can do it right the first time and has been that way his whole life). I also explained about his genetic dislike for playing games. He doesn't like answering stupid questions and his attitude towards telling you his colors was "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" I've often felt the same way about the questions that are asked in school so I understand where he is coming from (and although I understand it, it makes me crazy and our similarity is just one more reason why I chose not to homeschool).

A few weeks ago, I get a note home from her with a list of letters to work on at home. I sat down with him and asked him what the letters were. He stumbled on M (said it was N but that is what he says for M&Ms as well so it didn't suprise me) and G (when I prompted him that it was the first letter in his last name, he got it though) Other than that, he rattled them off like nobody's business. Thinking maybe it wasn't the id that was the problem, I asked him to tell me the sound each letter made. Again, no problem. So then I asked him to tell me a word that started with each letter. Again, no problems. Since I see his reading teacher every morning on our way in, I asked her about it the next day and she said it was the id and was really surprised that he had no trouble with the letters.

Because of the letter issue, I asked to meet with her during PTCs to see how he was doing. She said he has made great progress and can now id 44 of the letters on the assessment sheet (instead of the 11 that he started with). She said he is falling behind on sight words (I don't agree so much with teaching of sight words because I don't think it is the best way to learn to read, but I'll play the game) and only knew a few and that she was concerned with the fact that he still couldn't id letters in his name (T and E specifically). This is another case of him not playing along, unfortunately.

I was telling J's mom about this conversation today and she mentioned that when she has helped out in the classroom, he has known those letters. I helped make some envelope games that we play with the kids and I was helping him with one the other day and he did fine with it. It was an ending sound game, which is harder for these kids because they are used to talking about beginning sounds. You had to look at the picture and then match it to the letter that it ended with. He would be like "bat, baT, ttt, T" and put the picture with the letter T. He had a few that he stumbled on but mostly because he wanted beginning sounds. J's mom confirmed what I had witnessed and told me that he had doen fine in all the games they had played together. Certainly (and I noticed this as well) not as good as some of the other kids (J being one who knows the difference between night and knight, which is super impressive :) ) but far from the bottom of the class.

The reading teacher told me that she is concerned because without constant work at home, he is a child that could fall through the cracks. He is "very verbal and appears intelligent but is actually behind" I try (sometimes) not to be a crazy mom but this really ticked me off. I'm completely biased but I don't believe that my child only "appears" intelligent. I'm sure she probably didn't mean it the way I took it but I think it was phrased poorly. The other thing about this whole that that makes me mad is the fact that this is end of the first quarter. The year is one quarter over and no one has made mention one about this "problem" until now. I'm concerned that if I hadn't requested the meeting, nothing would have been said and we would have gone on like nothing was happening. As often as I'm at that school, I'm probably one of the easiest parents to contact, yet nothing. I drop him off and walk him to his class every day. I pick him up (granted it is outside) every afternoon. I volunteer in his class for 90 minutes a week and I'm usually there for something (class party, birthday, dropping off letters to the other parents) at least one other time during the week. I also email his teacher about something once or twice a week. I'm not an absent parent or one that is hard to contact.

I have my meeting with his regular teacher and I'm interested in hearing her assessment of the situation. She spends most of the day with him (as opposed to less than an hour once a week) and probably has a better, overall, picture of his progress this year. I can't wait to find out if she shares the same feeling. I'm also going to wait until the end to bring up any reading concerns if she doesn't bring them up. If this is a problem and no one says anything to me, that seriously erodes my confidense in this whole endevor.