Weighty issues

I joined Weight Watchers. Tomorrow is my first meeting and I'm a little freaked out about it. I have never in my life had a "weight problem". I put that in quotes because I've never been skinny but I never had a problem with it. I've always felt that I looked fine and didn't need anyone else's opinion. If someone didn't like how I looked, that sucked for them. I was always happy not to be some little dainty thing who would get blown over in a stiff breeze. I was healthy, I was strong and that was enough for me.

When I got pregnant with The Boy, I gained 50 lbs and tipped the scales at over 200 lbs. I was unhappy that I had to buy all new clothes but I didn't feel like I was that heavy and it still didn't bother me. Over the last year, I've made various attempts to start a regular exercise routine because while I didn't have a problem with the way I looked, I had a problem with the way I felt. I was always sick, could barely breathe, couldn't walk quickly without getting winded, etc. Through various circumstances, none of those attempts have been that long term and with summer coming on, I imagine this one will go down the drain as well. In January, we got the Wii Fit and I made a serious attempt to do it every day. When I started, my weight was 206. April 1st, my gym started a program called "resolution renewal" to get people back working out on a regular basis. If I go 3 times a week for 30 minutes each time for the entire 8 weeks, I get a $30 when I'm all done. In addition to that, I had to fill out a food and exercise log and turn it in each week. At the beginning of the program, I said that my goal was not to lose weight but to feel better. Because of that, the food log was irrelevant and I made most of it up on Monday morning right before it had to be turned in. My first day one the new program, I weighed myself, just to see how I did with no food effort. I made a real effort on the exercise, logging an hour (instead of the required half hour) most days, which included both cardio (5 minutes at 3 mph on the stairs and 35 minutes at 4 mph on the elliptical) and strength (arm and leg machines) most days. When I was strapped for time, I would just do the cardio but I've been there 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes every week since April 1. I weighed in at 210, 4 pounds heavier than I was in January. Fine, no biggie. Over the last 6 weeks, I have added another 8 lbs, putting me at 218 lbs, which is a gain of 12 lbs in 4 months time or 3 lbs a month. Every week, I watch it creep up and creep up. None of my clothes fit right anymore. I put on my shorts from last summer today and I could barely button them. These are the shorts that, last summer, I had to be sure to tie the drawstring on or they would fall off. This is not cool. So I decided that something had to change and obviously I can't exercise the weight away so I'm going to have to change the way I eat.

The problem is that I eat like your basic 2 year old. Plain meat, plain potatoes, very few veggies. Deep fried, covered in cheese, giant bowls of ice cream, etc. I do eat raw veggies occasionally and I'm absolutely addicted to green beans. In fact, I'm trying to figure out how many green beans I can eat every day without having to count the points. Quigs says that 1 pound is 2 points. :) I also have no idea about portion size or even the beginning of figuring calories and points. I need this to be easy. I don't want to spend every spare moment of my day, shopping for food, prepping food, cooking food and writing down food. What is going to end up happening is that I'm going to figure out the points for a handful of items and that is all I will eat. That way, if it is always the same, I don't have to think about it. The other thing I'm sure I'm going to do is, instead of learning to eat new things, is just not eat. For example, tonight we had ribs. I ate my fill because I'm not counting points until tomorrow. In the future when we have ribs, I will eat my point limit and be done. If that is one rib, then that is one rib and I'll end up being hungry. And pissy, but that is nothing new.

I imagine I'll spend my time being hungry because of my lack of flexibility, so if I bite your head off for no good reason, feel free to tell me to eat something and STFU. Also, I am stubborn and obstinate and if someone tells me that I can't do something it makes me more determined that, by God, I damn well will do it. I kept my old busted down couch for years past it's lifespan simply because my MIL made such a big deal about how I needed to get rid of it. If she had just shut up, I probably would have gotten rid of it long before I did LOL So, if you see me, please don't tell me that you think I can do it. If you want to talk about it, you need to be telling me that you are sure that I'm totally over my points for the day and that it is obvious I'm destined for failure. You could also point out the sheer amount of money I'm throwing away and the time I'm wasting for good measure :)

My starting is 201.5. I'll let you know when I get there.