Saturday, May 17, 2008

Family relations

I'm pretty freaking tired of Radioactive Freak's brother and SIL. The issues started before we were married. They lived in Virginia at the time and we sent them an invitation to our wedding (obviously, because it is his FREAKING brother) They RSVPed that they couldn't come because they didn't have any vacation time. For those of you that don't know, we got married the Friday after Thanksgiving so they would only have had to take one day off. They could have driven down on Thursday, come to the wedding on Friday, driven home on Saturday, no big deal. But they didn't. They didn't even bother send a gift (which is so NOT the point but seriously it is his FREAKING brother). Fast forward a couple of years, they have moved back home and we invite them to The Boy's birthday party. They had some reason that they couldn't come, I think it was a family trip somewhere. Come Feb, we were invited to the niece's b-day and we went. Then it was May and Ms Thang had her party. They couldn't come because niece had a TKD competition. Come October, The Boy had another party and they had another TKD tournament. Then for Ms. Thangs b-day, it was a trip to visit SIL's grandparents. The Boy's next birthday (last year for those keeping count) brought yet another excuse, although I don't remember what it is. Tomorrow is Ms Thang's party and we have yet another excuse from them. This one is by far the worst and the last straw. SIL called me and said they couldn't come because gas prices are too high to drive to down another time! I know that gas prices are high, but are you freaking kidding me?? Helping your niece celebrate her birthday isn't worth the 4 freaking dollars it would take to come down?? Give me a break!!

I'm completely done with them. I will never make an attempt to do anything with them again. I will never go to another event at their house, for any reason. Xmas at BIL and SIL's house? Forget it. Family cookout? Not happening. I told Radioactive Freak that his grandma better never die because I WILL NOT, under an circumstance, being going to their house for thanksgiving. RF is going to call me childish and petty and I am, but that isn't the point. The point is, I'm angry about yet another slight and I'm done with them. I'm done inviting them to things as well. No need to give them another chance to come up with a lame and stupid excuse. Screw them!


Looseyfur said...

Sigh. I'm so sorry. This is frustrating.

MacTroll's side of the family has a lot of this kind of crap too. It drives me insane. So I chose the same route you did, to just kind of back away completely.

The only problem I have, and if you figure a way to solve this is how not to be annoyed and frustrated every time they get brought up in conversation, i.e. to just let it go, let me know. I guess it's because there's a part of me, particularly since X-man, that hopes that they'll change.

The most depressing part is that MacTroll looks at me and says, "I know it's not going to change, and I'm not upset so why are you?"

And the answer -- because it shouldn't be this way.

The Fearless Freak said...

Sorry, I'm no help with the "getting over it" thing. I tend to hold grudges FOREVER so getting over things kind of eludes me LOL

abyss said...

Yep, im never allowed to eat at Noodles and co. because of a grudge, there are also various other stores scattered across town in a shotgun like pattern I can no longer go to. :(


Loretta said...

I hear ya! We should form a "my in-laws suck" club! Sounds like we would have a lot of founding members. You could take solace in the fact that at least it isn't your kids' grandparents... And D. *still* insists we (ahem, *I*) go out of our way to see them and spend time with them when we're back east. Um, yeah maybe if they actually send the Christmas and birthday presents they never sent to my kid this past year!

Misc said...

Oh, I'm sorry your BIL and his wife aren't willing to make your family part of theirs. That's such a completely foreign concept to me. My SIL & her hubby are fab and regularly drive down from the western 'burbs for b-day parties and weekends together.

Some people just don't get it. Do they just not see that this isn't about TKD tourneys and the price of gas (I know because gas would have to be way more expensive than it is to keep me away from my nieces' birthday parties) - it's about making time for your family? Sooner or later your kids are going to wonder why their Uncle and Aunt and cousin(s) don't come and will feel slighted that something as trivial as a TKD tournament trumped them. We've yet to attend a local TKD tournament because they all fall on weekends when we're out of town visiting FAMILY.

Is your SIL the one behind this? Does she not feel comfortable around E's family (and, consequently, you)? Or is E's brother the one making the excuses?

I guess you can take some comfort in that you and yours take time and make an effort for what's important.